New Years Eve Suits

Champagne Sabering World Record

blog, Drankin', Holidays, Parties

Ever tried setting a Guinness World Record?Neither had we until we realized we needed something big for the release of our 4 all-new New Year’s Eve animal print suits. We wanted a world record that encompassed danger, champagne, and finesse. The answer laid in the art of…

FFWD To NYE Suits  
But what exact record to break?

Seemed intriguing at first, but who the hell has a 13″ Arabian Saber on hand? And, if we’re being honest, we haven’t gone 1-minute or more since we found topical testosterone cream at 17. Then We Saw The Lowest Hanging Fruit.

And We Fuggin’ Went For It

Naturally, we prematurely popped our top knowing a world record was moments away.

 We used science as a loophole and chilled the contact point to a brittle base.

And set the…

Oh, and we almost lost a finger in the process.


With the record in our back pocket, our bellies full of the world’s biggest mimosa, and blood as our sacrifice,We Present…

I’ll Pop That Button

Austin Rosmarin

Having been raised by a feral pack of Staten Islanders, Austin grew up on a subsistence diet of Kosher hot dogs, car exhaust, and self-loathing. His decision making skills have been described as “worse than most”, and doctors have diagnosed him as “malignantly average”. In addition to writing for this blog, Austin has done countless other things to disappoint his parents. Without the approval of strangers for his less than witty musings, his e-meter OT and PC ratings will drop and he will have to return to the Church of Scientology to correct the imbalance. Don’t let his OT and PC ratings drop.

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