Kissing While Using Tushy Bidet Attachment

No More TP For Your Bunghole

Entertainment, Humor, WTF

We’ve wrapped your silky skin, sat on your face, and even cradled your family jewels…

Now We’re Going Where No Clothing Brand Has Gone Before.

Tushy Bidet Reaction

That’s right, we’ve got a luxurious pressure washer for your leather Cheerio. It’s the most giftable, life-changing product of the holiday season.

A.K.A. The Tushy Bidet.
A.A.K.A. The easy-to-install, absolutely zero-plumbing-or-electrical-work required bidet.

Take Me Straight To Pleasure Town


4 Reasons You Should’ve Switched To The Sphincter Slip n’ Slide Years Ago

Say Sayonara To Skidmarks

Fudgescicle For Tushy Bidet

“Going streaking” should never mean throwing away your favorite pair of undies.

With the sweet kiss of Poseidon, you can rest assured your cherished Ball or Her Hammocks won’t look like the starting blocks of a drag strip.

Here’s To Clean Cracks


Swiffer Introduced The Wet Jet For A Reason

Dry TP just spreads “it” around

Black Tushy Bidet Toilet Bowl Attachment

I’m no scientist, but it’s not a coincidence your washing machine, dish washer, and shower all need water + pressure to keep your unsavories clean…and I’m betting those aren’t half as dirty as what this is getting into.

End The TP Smear Campaign


Charmin Is The 1% And They’re Bleeding You Dry

Cut costs with one easy payment of $69

Flushing Money Gif

White gold doesn’t come from Colombia, it’s actually sitting in shrink-wrapped packages at your local Target.

For one tiny payment of less than your failed crypto investment, this bidet turns your tumultuous Sunday morning BM into a magical journey to rival the “Splash Zone” seats at SeaWorld.

Quit Playing Games With My Shart


Even “Ungiftables” Drop Holiday Heat

End your holiday shopping right here, right now

Tushy Bidet Bamboo Toilet Paper

Everyone has that impossible-to-shop-for person in their life. Gifting this bidet will ensure you stay top-of-mind every day after their morning coffee.

It Takes A #2 To Tango

*Oh you’ve never chopped off a log while your lady wife bathed 5 feet away? Well, we haven’t either, but having the cleanest tush in town can change a person*

While this is a hygiene product, we want to remind you that after using this on full power for more than 15 seconds, you’re just playing with yourself.

Tushy Bidet Reaction Reel

Terrified of installation? Fear not. Even my 11yo nephew got this thing crankin’ in under 10min delivery-to-dookie.

Give Your Caboose The Party It Deserves


STAY WEIRD & BLAST OFF

Tushy Bidet Rocket Launch


Austin Rosmarin

Having been raised by a feral pack of Staten Islanders, Austin grew up on a subsistence diet of Kosher hot dogs, car exhaust, and self-loathing. His decision making skills have been described as “worse than most”, and doctors have diagnosed him as “malignantly average”. In addition to writing for this blog, Austin has done countless other things to disappoint his parents. Without the approval of strangers for his less than witty musings, his e-meter OT and PC ratings will drop and he will have to return to the Church of Scientology to correct the imbalance. Don’t let his OT and PC ratings drop.

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